You Talk Too Fast
by PokeSpeBanette
Summary: Sometimes Green talks too fast for people to understand. This is of no help whatsoever when he and Red are stuck on cliff.
Renny: I guess all of this is probably basically just dialogue, which is probably a good thing because I have this headcanon that Green sometimes talks too fast for other people to understand.

Green: I have to admit, that doesn't sound like a stupid headcanon, considering that you do it on a regular basis.

Renny: I keep thinking I need to speak fast so I can say what I wanna say before I forget it. In the end I just end up not being understand at all. I think Green might have this problem too, so yeah. Disclaimer!

Green: Renny doesn't own pokemon.

Renny: On with the show!

 **OOOOOO**

"We're on a cliff."

"Yes, I know."

"A cliff that is crumbling as we speak."

"I said I know."

"If it keeps crumbling, we'll fall and die."

"I. Know."

"And if we die no one will ever know because this was your stupid idea to announce to basically everyone that we're going off on some stupid quest to find some stupid Stone that doesn't even exist in a stupid canyon that-"

"Green, slow down, I can't understand a word you're saying! Can you repeat it?"

"No."

"Aw, come on!"

"I'm not repeating everything I just said because you can't understand me you stupid-"

"Stop saying stupid."

"Oh so you understood that."

"Yes, now please, try and slow down. I know you sometimes talk quick but this is ridiculous."

"I talk fast when I'm-"

"Panicking?"

"-about to fall off a cliff and die."

"Oh for Mew's sake, we're not about to die!"

"Then why don't you send out your Aerodactyl?"

" . . . Because our pokeballs are up on that ledge."

"Exactly, now shut up. Can you climb?"

"What?"

"Can. You. Climb. Was that slow enough for you?"

"Yes. That last bit wasn't, but yeah. I can climb, why?"

"Do I have to think of everything? Climb up to the ledge!"

"Why can't you?"

"Can I just point out that you're an idiot in serious need of getting his head exa-"

"Slow down, Green."

"My arm's broken, Red. I can't climb with one arm. That's physically impossible. I'd give you a presentation about it, but we appear to be on the edge of a cliff that's also crumbling because you sent us on a stupid quest to find a stupid-"

" _Green_."

" . . . Sorry."

"Look, I'm sorry we're on a cliff. I'm sorry we're basically lost. I'm sorry I sent us on a stupid quest to find a Stone that probably doesn't exist. I'm sorry that you broke your arm. I'm sorry, okay?"

"You're not sorry that we're about to die Red that's a really worrying thing we're actually about to die-"

"Green!"

"Gag me."

" . . . Eh?"

"I'm being serious, gag me. I can work sign language with one hand, I promise."

"I'm not gagging you just because you talk too fast and ramble when you're panicking! And even if I was considering it, what would I gag you with?"

"That's . . . a good question. Your sock?"

"You said my feet smell."

"The good one."

"Both of them."

" _My_ sock?"

"I'm fairly certain your feet aren't much better."

" . . . Uh. I'm out of ideas for a gag."

"Good, because I wasn't gonna do it anyway."

"Oh come on."

"I'm not gagging you, dammit!"

"Is that a bad word?"

"Not as far as I'm aware."

"Then why did Daisy ban me from saying it?"

" . . . Your sister is weird."

"I may have one broken arm but that does not mean I can't kick your ass."

"Point taken, Daisy is not weird. She's preserving your innocence."

" _What_ innocence?"

"You can tell her that when we get back."

"If we get back."

"Stop being so pessimistic!"

"One of us has to be."

"That's not how the saying works!"

"Well, I'm changing how it works, so get used to it-"

"Hey, boys!"

"Blue!"

"Blue."

"Green, if you get any more happier to see me, I think you might jump with joy."

"Stop being sarcastic and help us."

"What are you even doing here, anyway?"

"I was around. . . . Okay fine, I followed you for the hell of it. Get over yourselves."

"Whatever, just help us up. And hurry up, Green wants me to gag him."

"O . . . kay? Whatever you're into, I guess."

"What are you on about? He keeps complaining about me talking to fast and basically rambling so I told him to gag me and-"

"Okay I get it shut up or slow down or something. I though you meant something else entirely."

"Don't give him ideas, Blue!"

"Wait, there's more than one reason to gag someone?"

" . . ."

" . . ."

"What?"

"Okay so, when we get back, maybe I'll give you sex ed."

"What's sex ed?"

"Scratch that, I'm _definitely_ giving you sex ed."

 **OOOOOO**

Renny: I'm not sure if this counts as weird or funny. Oh well.

Green: I think it's just plain weird.

Renny: Yeah, probably. Read and review!


End file.
